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May 20

糖糖^^

喜欢吃糖

那些甜甜酸酸的味道让我开心^^...

今天，回家的路上在便利店为自己买了包彩虹糖

小时候最喜欢吃了，

妈妈每次都会买好多给我，就是为了看我开心的那一笑

在回家的路上我把它们小心的藏在书包里，心里还是甜滋滋的

那天晚上，爸爸把我叫到书房。。。

“这些都是那个女人给你买的？”

我傻傻的点了点头

父亲把它们扔到了垃圾桶

在我流下眼泪前，他拿出了一本书

那是我用来藏妈妈照片的书

他从里面拿出了照片

看着我，他用打火机点燃了照片

“这个女人已经不要你了，你还傻成这样留这种不值钱的东西。。。你怎么不找她要点钱回来？”

。。。

独自打开自己刚买来的糖，一边吃，竟一边流下了眼泪

也许是因为买的是sour的那种，不如妈妈买的好吃吧

以前的我，难过了都会跑去找妈妈诉苦,她会陪我一起流泪

现在的我，开心了才去给妈妈汇报，她会比我更开心...

因为我知道，让妈妈伤心的孩子才是苯孩子^^

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June 07

Just A dReaM

In the Twilit night; out there somewhere;

I can't see his face, but he's wat it all means.

My plastic smile; my wordless everyday;

I only wander through; the unchanging scenes.

One fine day soon; the me i know;

will be a me i've never foreseen.

My eyes away; from this whole world.

I run so far away; from me, this girl.

Stronger! I want to be;

-and still remain me.

Stronger!! I want to be;

--to live daringsly.

Stronger!!! I want to be;

--- Cauze someday i can see;

that u'll be out there for me to meet... ...

wanting to go back to that day...

like u've known me

Wanting to go back to that day...

u seem soo close to me

wanting to go back to that day...

as if we were friends or even more than wat we have been ...

then again....it was just for that day...that moment...

in the end...it was nothing; just a dream i created... for me...><

I walked by u again... that coldness in ur eyes i see...

yes, it was just a dream of wat i want it to be

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April 24

自取其辱~~

我是怎么了！？

我到底做错了什么？！

祝你生日快乐。。。

却招来你一味的嘲笑。。。

对我。。对我的朋友。。。

突然之间又觉得很累。。。

过了这么久以后，竟然又为了你而感到疲惫

一定要伤害吗？

一定要这样你才会开心吗？

y r u always trying to prove that u have a better life?

求你不要再试着证明你的“伟大”。。。（一想到就想吐）

y r u always trying to prove that i lost?

也求你不要在炫耀你那个大你七岁的欧巴桑了（一想到就会吐！）

y can't u just stay away from me?!...

y can't u just let me be?!

i'm just trying to find someone i used to know...a friend i thought i had...

where is he now?

did u hide him?!...

or he was just my imaginary friend... never existed...

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April 09

...

it's been a long time

... ...dunno wat to say now... ...

yes, life.

i've been really busy lately...but it's sooo much fun!

-Skol (giving me such a hard time=o=)...

--Friends...(soo much fun^0^)

---night skol (dropped after first test><)...

----Tutoring (Stopped showing up...

can't even keep up with my own work, sorry.kids+.+)...

-----Badminton^^ (my first and last yr on the Team!!!I SUCK!!season just ended><Missing it already...and my cute teammates

ohhh~and i just got someone coach me on Sundays...hohoho~~hope that'll help)...

------Tennis^0^ (The club... afterskol... weekends...and when i have a spare that dun need to Volunteer in the Library...=_=`Ms. Edmund is acting as if she can't do anything without me~~well, glad to help!)

------Universities...(Driving me Crazy!!!OUCA...Applications essays...applying for Scholarships...Bursaries...)

-------Thinking (MONEY !!!MONEY !!!MONEY!!! CUTIE !!!CUTIE!!! SCARY!!! SCARYYY!!!)

Scared of where i am going ...even though with two acceptances right now...still feeling lost...

who am i? who should i be?where do i go?where do i live? how can i get enough money to support myself?!

and here while i'm trying to find myself, there r ppl trying to fit into this crazy life of mine...i dunno wat to say other than "Sorry"... neither do i like this messed up person><... i dislike dislike this me...

我应该是一个没人爱的臭小孩。。。

我也有自己的痛苦...><

有谁能懂？

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February 11